Humour |
hMsanaa manaa hO
ek ima~ dUsaro ima~ sao ¹ tumharo iptajaI @yaa kama krto hOMÆ
dUsara ima~ ¹ laaogaaoM sao sauK duK baaMTto hOM.
phlaa ima~ ¹ vaao @yaa saamaaijak kaya-kta- hOMÆ
dUsara ima~ ¹ nahIM Daikyaa hOM.
tuma GaaoD,o ko barabar nahIM daOD, sakto haoÆ
laoikna GaaoD,a daOD, maoM mauJasao Aagao nahIM jaa sakta.
eosaa hao hI nahIM sakta.
@yaaoM nahIM hao sakta‚ maOM GaaoD,o pr baOza jaao rhUMgaa.
jaugala nao ApnaI p`oimaka sao kha‚ “maOM ]sa yauvatI sao SaadI k$Mgaa‚ jaao maohnatI hao‚ saadgaI sao rhtI hao‚ Gar kao
saMvaarkr rKtI hao‚ Aa&akarI hao.”
p`oimaka nao mauskurato hue batayaa‚ “maoro Gar Aa jaanaa yao saaro gauNa maorI naaOkranaI maoM hOM.”
sauMdr yauvatI banaI¹znaI Apnao pu$Ya kI baaT dok rhI qaI. jaba vah Aayaa tao ]saka mauK dmak rha qaa. vah baaolaa ¹ Aaja hmaarI rai`~ baD,I maQaur baItogaI. maOM Klanaayak ko tIna iTkT lao Aayaa hU^M.
inaraSa svar maoM yauvatI nao pUCa ¹ tIna @yaaoMÆ
tumharo ipta‚ maaM AaOr Baa[- ko ilae.
Baart Ta[-mja, Wara saMkilat |
A BRIDGE TOO
FAR
1st Generation Indo-Canadians gapping with
2nd, 3rd .. Generation Indo-Canadians
With the best compliments of Dr. Leo
Rebello
The Lord surveyed the Ram Setu and said "Hanuman, how diligently
and strenuously you and your vanara sena had built this bridge
several centuries back. It is remarkable that it has withstood
the ravages of the climatic and geographical changes over centuries.
It is indeed an amazing feat especially considering the fact that
a bridge at Hyderabad built by Gammon using latest technology collapsed
the other day even before they could stick the posters on its pillars."
Hanuman with all humility spoke "Jai Sri Ram, it is all because
of your grace. We just scribbled your name on the bricks and threw
them in the sea and they held. No steel from TISCO or cement from
Ambuja or ACC was ever used. But Lord, why rake up the old issue
now."
Ram spoke, "Well Hanuman, some people down there want to demolish
the bridge and construct a canal. The contract involves a lot of
money and a lot of money will be made. They will make money on
demolition and make more money on construction."
Hanuman humbly bowed down and said, "Why not we go down and
present our case". Ramji said, "Times have changed since
we were down there. They will ask us to submit age proof and we
don't have either a birth certificate or school leaving certificate.
We traveled mainly on foot and some times in bullock carts and
so we don't have a driving license either. As far as the address
proof is concerned the fact that I was born at Ayodhya is itself
under litigation for over half a century. If I go in wearing traditional
attire with bow and arrow, the ordinary folks may recognize me
but Arjun Singh may take me to be some tribal and at the most,
offer a seat at IIT under the reserved category. Also, a God cannot
walk in dressed in a three-piece suit and announce his arrival.
It would make even the devotees suspicious. So it is a dilemma
so to say."
"I can vouch for you by saying that I personally built the
bridge."
"My dear, Anjani putra, it will not work. They will ask you
to produce the lay-out plan, the project details, including financial
outlay and how the project cost was met and the completion certificate.
Nothing is accepted without documentary evidence in present times.
You may cough but unless a doctor certifies it, you have no cough.
A pensioner may present himself personally but the authorities
do not take it as a proof. He has to produce a ‘person living
certificate’ to prove that he is alive. It is that complicated."
"Lord can't understand these historians. Over the years you
have given darshan once every hundred years to saints like Surdas,
Tulsidas, Saint Thyagaraja, Jayadeva, Bhadrachala Ramdas and even
Sant Tukaram and still they disbelieve your existence and say Ramayana
is a myth. The only option, I see, is to re-enact Ramayana on earth
and set the government records straight once and for all."
Lord smiled "It isn't that easy today. Ravan is apprehensive
that he may look like a saint in front of Karunanidhi. I also spoke
to his mama Mareecha, who appeared as a golden deer to tempt Sita
when I was in the forest and he said that he won't take a chance
of stepping on earth as long as Salman Khan is around." |
Bhola ji Declares War!
One afternoon, George Bush was sitting in his office
when his telephone rang.
"Hello Mr. Bush," a heavily accented voice says. "This
is Bholaji. I am ringing to inform you that I am officially declaring
war on you!"
Well, Bholaji," Bush replies, "This indeed is important
news! Tell me, how big is your army?"
At this moment in time," says Bholaji after a moments calculation,
"There is myself, my cousin Herolal, my next door neighbor Pyarelal
and the entire Kabbadi team from the Village. That makes 8!"
Bush sighs and says, "I must tell you Bholaji that I have 1
million men in my army waiting to move on my word."
“OK," says Bholaji. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Bholaji calls back. "Right Mr. Bush,
the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"
"What equipment would that be, Bholaji?" Bush asks.
“Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Chacha's
tractor from the farm."
Once more Bush sighs and says, "I must tell you Bholaji that
I have 50,000 tanks, 2000 mine layers, 10,000 armored cars and my
army has increased to 1 and a half million since we last spoke."
"I'll be dogged!" says Bholaji. "I'll have to ring
you back!"
Sure enough, Bholaji calls again the next day. "Right Mr. Bush,
the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've
gotten out old Govind's crop sprayer with a couple of rifles in the
cockpit and the Hockey team has joined us as well!"
Once more Bush sighs and says "I must tell you Bholaji that
I have 4000 bombers and 8000 high maneuverability attack planes and
my military installations are surrounded by laser guided surface
to air missiles and since we last spoke, my army has increased to
2 million."
"Oh cripes," says Bholaji. "I'll have to ring you
back."
Sure enough, Bholaji calls again the next day. "Right Mr. Bush,
I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm very sorry to hear that," says Bush. "Why the
sudden change of heart?"
"Well," says Bholaji, "We've all had a chat and t'be
sure, there's no way we can cope with 2 million prisoners of war."
Paree
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Top 10 Indian Joint Ventures
Krishna Prasad
10. A chain of "Bhaskar-RaoBins" ice
cream stores all over the country, in collaboration with Baskin
Robins.
9. Kraft will make "PARAMESAN CHEESE" at
Madras, in collaboration with Parameswaran & Co.
8. Kentucky Fried Chicken will open its
chain of Indian version, to be named, "KARNATAKI FLY-ED
CHICKEN"
and will be headquartered at Bangalore.
7. Pizza Hut will open a chain, in the
back alleys of all cities, its version, to be named:"PICHHE
HUT". Headquarters: Kanpur. PICHHE = means back-alleys
for the uneducated
6. McDonalds will open its fast food restaurants
to be named: "McDosalu". Hqs. Hyderabad. Main
menu: Idli and Dosa.
5. Mr. Submarine will name its restaurants
as "Mr. SUBRAMANI", to be headquartered at Madras.
4. Red Carpets colored with biodegradable
(hence environmentally friendly) red PAAN. Juice extracts
will enjoy duty-free status in US.
3. Dallas Cowboys will own a new franchise:
Dilli's COW-BHAIS, to teach Indians how to play Football....
with hands.
2. Duty-free import of Ambassador cars
into USA, as long as they are not used outside of Demolition
Derby.
1. Internal Revenue Service will provide
technology transfer of its Tax System software to Indian
Income Tax Dept and to be named: "UNCLE SHYAM".
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Honorable Men Honestly Humoring
Internet
Subject: Men are Always Honest!!!!
"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting
a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you
crying?"
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into the river and
that he needed the axe to make his living.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden
axe.
"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
"No," the woodcutter replied.
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is
this your axe?" the Lord asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is
this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three
axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along
the riverbank and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out,
the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE.
"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE,
You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ. Then, if I had said 'no'
to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,'
you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man and am
not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said
yes to ANGELINA JOLIE."
The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good
and honourable reason, and for the benefit of others.
That's our story and we're sticking to it! - "WE ARE HONOURABLE
MEN!!!!"
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What
do our Politicians have to say?
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Bharat
Times 2010 Annual Banquet
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Bharat
Times 2009 Annual Banquet
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SPVM
Service de police
de la Ville de Montréal
- Missing
Persons
- Know Your Rights
- Join the Police Force & Serve Your Communit |
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| Rotary
Club of Old Montreal |
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Visa
& Passport
- High Commission
of India in Ottawa
-
Consulate General of India in Toronto
- High Commission & Consulate
General of Pakistan in Canada
- High Commission of
Bangladesh in Canada
- High Commission
of Sri Lanka in Canada |
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